Ryan's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Ryan [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

My Life Without Crazy [05 Feb 2006|07:00pm] [ mood | annoyed ] I saw Water today. It was both good and sad and fuels my interest of British India. Also, here's the latest from "non-crazy" Bob: 05 Feb 2006, 15:30 Greg: Hi there. Young old fart here. Love your new pic. Great teeth! Hope all is ok. I've added a new pic. The one with no hair. I know I've seemed nuts in the past, I'm quite sane, just lonely since my ex of 17 years left me high and dry, and yes, I am 42, but as I say. see my pic. If that's 42, I'll eat my hat. If you just know that you and I don't fit, then there is no harm in telling me. According to your profile, you have a gut instinct. Since you have even said boo since I wrote, I am thinking your gut instinct is off with me. I am not some kind of dirty old man. I know you are 23, and it took 23 years to get there, but remember these words "when you are 46, you will be saying where did the last 23 years go?" You see age is relative. When older people say that time moves faster when you are older, it's not a saying. It's a mathematical, and unfortunate truth. Think of it. The older you get, the faster a year goes by to you, because with each passing year, that one year becomes a smaller fraction of your whole life that you have lived up till now. So as you get older, time gets smaller, and so, the years go by faster. What I just told you is something I wish I had been told when I was 23. Why would I have wanted to know what you know now? Because you now have the chance to savour every moment of your youth. Don't let petty arguments with anyone happen. Forgive, and at least try to forget. Since time is racing by for all of us, you will be 43 in a flash. Part of me wonders if you just laughed at me, the old guy was writing you. That's my problem if I was wrong. If I am right, you will see how crazy it is that you thought 43 is old. You will remember this, because when you turn 50, you will be longing to be, not 23, but merely 43. A mere lad. Sorry for going on, but I hope I opened your horizons, as far a age and values go. You can't find that time thing in a book, and I never heard anyone say it, but it is as real as the wonderful nose on your face. Let this "old" fart give you a compliment, will you? ;-) Maybe one day you will say hi. Would be nice. If you are into the dark stuff. Ok. I have my God questions anyway. Sometimes he seems dark, to be honest. I mean. Take a look around. Why isn't he helping if he is the boss? I know, Satan did it. But didn't God make him too? Oh boy. I quit. Before I tell the rest of my life story I'll stop here. I hope you might have a better opinion of me now. "Hope springs eternal"!!! Loves all 'round for you, Greg xxx 1 comment|post comment

... [03 Feb 2006|08:30pm] [ mood | lonely ] Tonight I feel as though I have been abandoned by the world. post comment

Dear god. [31 Jan 2006|06:02am] [ mood | dirty ] Most of you know that I have an unofficial "Don't Say" list. This list is made of of words or phrases that I have deemed inappropriate for me to say. Things like "Now we're cooking with gas" and "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?" Death. I find it particularly pathetic when it's people under 30 who are saying this shit, so yesterday when Jude, a girl at work said something that I overheard, it made me cringe. Not only did she say this horrific phrase which I don't even want to repeat, but she followed it up with "as they say"!! GOD!! I mean, I know that sometimes I talk just to hear myself but this is extreme! She's only like a couple years older than me, but it could be that her old man husband - who looks like the Colonel à la Kentucky - is rubbing off on her. I don't think she had much of a personality to begin with anyway. I must say, that what she said is among the worst of offences on the "Don't Say" list. It's guaranteed to make your flesh crawl and raise a little bile. If you don't think you're ready for it look away now. Here we go - and please appreciate the difficulty with which I write this: "Another day, another dollar." 2 comments|post comment

Mapping The Course [29 Jan 2006|07:51pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Death Cab For Cutie - Brothers On A Hotel Bed ] I just saw C.R.A.Z.Y. and it was a really good movie. I cried a bunch of times in it. Parts of it reminded me of my life and myself, especially with the mom. It made me want to run away though. It made me want to leave and not tell anybody where I was going and just start a new life. It made me think, too, that I need to do more things on my own. It feels like I have a pretty solitary path in life. Not sure if it's because I'm an only child that I feel this way, or because I've never really had close friends for a long period of time or what. Obviously these are the things that come to mind though. Guess I'm feeling kinda lost. I'm still trying to figure out who I am. 6 comments|post comment

You leave your drink around me, believe your gon' get drunk up. [22 Jan 2006|02:37am] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Three 6 Mafia - Stay Fly ] Just got back from Crews. Meh. I wasn't feeling that into it and there was this creepy guy who wouldn't leave me alone and reaked of smoke. His breath was disgusting. One of my bracelets broke when I was playing with it too. I guess now I have to blow myself or something... not really sure how it works when you break your own. 3 comments|post comment

In the Name of Her Majesty! [21 Jan 2006|09:41am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Placebo - This Picture ] "Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State Requests and requires in the Name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance, and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary." In other words, I finally received my new passport, so not only am I a citizen of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, but of the European Union as well! I can now live and work anywhere in the union. Yay! My dad called me last night and the first thing he said was: "I say old chap, do you have a brolly and a bowler?" I'm sure it's funny to read about, but it was excruciating to hear. Actually, it's only funny to read if you know that it's my dad who said it. I took a gerbera daisy from work on Wednesday. It is pretty and orange and I have it in a clear glass on my desk! I have been rearranging my bedroom. Not because I was particularly unhappy with the way it was before, but because I bought some new message boards and I didn't know where to hang them. Crazy's crazy. Really though, I thought that where my bed was before didn't really work for that wall. I wanted to take up less wall space by only having my headboard against the wall so I moved everything into the only possible configuration that incorporated all the elements I desired into it. I still have a couple of adjustments to make, but it's looking good! The message boards are glass and from IKEA. http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10103&storeId=3&langId=-15&productId=49620 Hopefully they'll draw out my creativity... 'n stuff. Right now my desk in front of my mirror because I am avoiding moving the mirror. It's a whole process with drilling and plugs and levels and it's just not turning me on right now. Has to go soon though because sitting in front of it all the time is distracting. I had enough trouble eating in my dining room at home with the mirror across from me, let alone typing and carrying on a conversation. My mom would slowly slide things in front of my reflection at dinner sometimes. I shall not be doing the same. David was supposed to come over yesterday, but his mom was being a bitch and wouldn't drive him to the GO station after she said that she would. Reminds me of Raquel's mom come to think of it. Soon he'll be going to post-secondary though and living down town so I'll get to see him more often. I really like David. It's not often that I find queer guys whom I want to hang out with. Jeremy is another though! He message me on gay.com last week and we started chatting on MSN. He sent me a pic and then I realized that I already knew him and that we both went to Banting for high school. Not at the same time, but we had some mutual friends. I enjoy him quite highly as well; he's very funny. Both of them are actually. I think I'm saying "actually" too much... actually. DAMN! Yum yum peppermint tea. Looks like you aren't the only hippie, Bess. =) As if though. The only thing hippie in my room is the gerbera. Other than that it looks like an examination room. On a space ship. In the future. Maybe the Heart of Gold in one of it's incarnations. WHAT TO DO TODAY?! One of the things that I've listed on my message board I suppose. Oh and I have to read more of that creativity book as well. Chen wants me to go out tonight. My doing really since I brought it up. I do and I don't want to go. I just wish that I would have been able to see David yesterday! Fie!! OK so Bess, I am still eating healthy yes, except for the box of After Eights I'm chowing down on right now. It's left over from Christmas, but at least I didn't eat all my holiday chocolate in one day, right? Right?! Alright people, is the overall quantity that is the evil or do I get any points for making it last this long? Be kind. OK, last one... in the box I mean. 2 comments|post comment

Told you so. [16 Jan 2006|06:06am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Sugababes - Push The Button ] I kind of feel like it's cheating to just copy stuff into a journal entry and not actually write much, but at the same time I think it's in my best interests to make this available to people just in case I die. 15 Jan 2006, 21:25 Greg: How's snooty stuck up doing? 15 Jan 2006, 21:31 Greg: I said you were beautiful when I first wrote you. I was mistaken. You obviously don't think that yourself. Otherwise why put holes in yourself, like decorating an otherwise plain Christmas tree? Hmmm? Ah, nevermind. I've known another egomaniac. He's 47 now, and is still working, chasing his bills, but thinking he is above everyone. That's you unless you wise up. Just trying to help pal. 15 Jan 2006, 21:38 Greg: I do like your latest photo, although i think you look incedibly immature with those beads in your face. Just my opinion. I'm sure since you think you look "cool", then that's all there is to it. Mature people never want another opinion, do they? I'm 42. What have I learned? What the hell can I possibly know? After all, you have been laughing at me. Sorry sir, one day when you are left alone completely, remember me, and how much I said sorry to.....you. 15 Jan 2006, 23:33 Greg: Sorry again for being a bother. Just too much to drink again. Maybe this will serve as your latest laugh at me. It's ok. Take care. 16 Jan 2006, 01:39 Greg: I feel rotten now after having some sleep. All I ever did was like you, and when I have one too many because of other things that are getting me down lately, I turn on you for not talking to me, but it's not just you I bother. Anyway, just know I think you look wonderful, and do like those piercings. Was just trying to get you to react I guess. So, forget I bothered you again. Hope all is ok, and take care. I'm pretty sure that he was on a streetcar with me the other day. It was pretty scary because I was sitting in the party seat and he sat just one up from it and we were pretty much alone there. Luckily he got off at Sherbourn or something. Also, I've had these piercings since the first time he messaged me so maybe he just didn't see them before. Whatever - Crazy's crazy. I'll make a real entry soon I promise! =D 3 comments|post comment

Why can't I stop eating this Toblerone? [04 Jan 2006|08:56pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | The Postal Service - Brand New Colony ] 01 Jan 2006, 19:26 Greg: Sorry for some of the weird parts of my messages the other day. Was depressed, and had one too many again. My partner of 17 years left me overnight in November, and he basically laughed at my pain over it. The holidays just added to the sadness, but I'm working on putting it behind me. His cruelty about it has made it a bit easier to not miss him, but it's just how he went from someone I knew for half my life to a total stranger in a few weeks that has made me confused about everything. Anyway, am working on putting it all behind me. I didn't mean to bother you again if I did. Happy New Year. Greg 03 Jan 2006, 23:45 Greg: Still feeling bad about bothering you. Just couldn't help myself. You have a mirror, so you must understand why I kept it up. Anyway, this is it, for real this time. Was just was feeling bad about all the messages, but I thank you for not getting angry. Take care Ryan. So now this begs the question: HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW MY NAME?! I've checked the site and it doesn't have my name on it anywhere. I feel like I can read this guy. I think he did that last in an attempt to bait me into asking him that very question. He's not done. 2 comments|post comment

It's too early for people. [31 Dec 2005|10:27am] [ mood | amused ] 31 Dec 2005, 02:49 Greg: Any luck? I'm failing all over the place. 31 Dec 2005, 04:03 Greg: Hi. I'm losing. You? Would be nice to actually be pals, and talk. Want to try that Darkplay? I'm really not a weirdo. I really do have the best voice. I won a THEA for best actor in a musical in 89. Ok, I was nominated. I dunno. Since you haven't blocked me, can we be friends? Instead of laughing at the dirty old man, see that I have a heart, and would just like to talk. 31 Dec 2005, 04:13 Greg: dark, is there a chance you might say hi to me? Too popular to be nice to one you know who really likes you? Yes, you owe me nothing. So no friendship. That recent pic shows a nice you. I didn't see the Scrooge in you. Roll your eyes and tell me to go. 31 Dec 2005, 04:19 Greg: Darkplay, Do you like movies, or ham, or anything? I know you do talk, but why not to me? Movies or ham? 31 Dec 2005, 04:24 Greg: Darkplay, I have three cats. The four of us are lonely. For the record, I didn't roll my eyes; they got wide with fear. I really didn't start posting these on here to make fun of this guy. I did it to showcase the weirdness of my life. I don't feel bad that I've done it because it's not like this is open for ALL to see. At least I don't give the link to many people and I ask that they don't share it anyway. I actually think that he would be more pathetic if he gave up because then he wouldn't come across as quite so much of a nut bag. The other night I had a dream that I was in Ottawa and these terrorist attacks were being staged by separatists. I think the parliament buildings had been evacuated and there were these warning beacons with red dot matrix displays around all this rubble that told you that you were entering a dangerous area. That's all I really remember about it. Some bitch was banging on my door this morning at 9:00 - I was up late - yelling something in Chinese. I knew that she had the wrong house so when I realized that she was going to remain ignorant to this fact I threw on some clothes and whipped open the door. She apologized and said she thought her friend was here. Tukah, Queen of the Chinese! 2 comments|post comment

It's Over! [28 Dec 2005|12:44pm] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | FFT - Brave Story ] Xmas is over tra la la! It was pretty decent really. My parents came down on Saturday and my mom helped me prepare some stuff. After that we went to my uncle's for dinner with his current girlfriend common law maybe chick. She's rather loud, but she's nice. I do hate however that when she was up visiting one time she almost refused to drink wine out of this one set of glasses because they didn't have stems. THEY ARE STILL WINE GLASSES! My grandmother probably just got them in some European country and you're too ignorant to get it! Ahem. Yes, she is nice. Her son came home after we were done dinner though, and... yum. I really really want my uncle to marry her now so it'll be DIRTY!! His name is Trevor and I think he's queer. Really sexy deep voice and he works at American Eagle. Totally not compatible types I'm sure but I got so nervous around him. God he's hot. I WANNA DO MY stepCOUSIN!! Oh, and I think the best present I got this year was from Alicia. It's a lime green shirt with HILARY DUFF'S FACE IN SILVER LAMÉ!! I'm totally going to get it made into a boy shirt. I sent Chen a Christmas present to him in Israel. I covered the envelope in Xmas stickers. =) I had been talking to a boy online. He was in the city on Monday. I invited him over. We watched Lawnmower Man and fell asleep. Had sex the next day. I thought this one would be less complicated, but I'm having to talk to him about everything on MSN right now. I really do want to be friends with him hang out, even if he doesn't want to have sex again. He's pretty cool, and I didn't even intend to do it with him in the first place! This is the Duff Pic, but think of it in silver! post comment

Once Again [22 Dec 2005|11:06pm] [ mood | discontent ] 22 Dec 2005, 19:30 Greg: :o) 22 Dec 2005, 20:09 Greg: Not only do I look like a model, a model what, I dunno, but I also sing. I've created an address for a song I've done if you'd like to hear me. Problem is, this site won't let me send you a url until you reply first. If you do, just say "ok" if you want to save time, and I'll message you with the address to hear me from. Maybe my voice will make me look different to you. If not, hopefully you'll enjoy the song if nothing else. You seem very artistic, and I figured I might be able to appeal to you through my voice. As I say, at the very least I'll be glad that you got to hear me, and enjoyed the song. Here's hoping for your "ok" to be sent. Don't worry, not a nut here, just being very persistent. Have to be sometimes. I'll get the message eventually if I have to, but try hearing me first. You might want to talk to me then. :o)) My biggest concern right now with this is NOT, in fact, saving time. It is how to make crazy people leave me alone. Well to be honest my biggest concern is always my hair but I think we can all take that for granted, oui? post comment

Eep [22 Dec 2005|07:02pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Used, The - Alone This Holiday ] OK now I honestly am getting a bit creeped out... 22 Dec 2005, 16:16 Greg: HI. Me again. I couldn't resist. Is it ok if I tell you that I think you are beautiful? You are. Hope you don't mind me saying this, but you remind me of a very young Ann Bancroft. Don't worry, I can see the masculine side of you in your pics, but everytime I see you among everyone else, you stand out, and my heart melts all over again. I said I wouldn't keep bothering you, if I am, but I just had to tell you that, and if I am softening your heart a bit for a man that should be in an old folks home, then message me. Or e-mail me at stillgreg@yahoo.ca I don't want to creep you out, if I am doing that, but I feel that if we could know each other, I feel I would be so alive having you in my life. Sounds poetic, but I mean it. Possible to chat? Maybe if you just need to get stuff off your chest. I will listen. Keeping my fingers, and eyes crossed. Greg ;-) WTF does "everytime I see you among everyone else" mean?! I really fucking hope that he's talking about the people in his mind and doesn't mean that he sees me in real life. Weirded out! Has anyone besides Bess and I read "The Collector"? This guy is reminding me of him. So does anyone else get scared sometimes that they're not wearing pants? Once in a while when I'm walking down the street I suddenly get panicked and have to look down to make sure that my pants are still there. I'm afraid that they're just going to be gone one of these times. And here's Anne Bancroft: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0250862/Ss/0250862/haven_anneb.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Bancroft,%20Anne%20(I post comment

The Beat Goes On [18 Dec 2005|07:30pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Coldplay - Talk ] Little update on the crazy man situation: 16 Dec 2005, 23:09 Greg: Hi, sorry for my weird message about 12 days back. Had a couple drinks and thought I was being funny, but turned out looking illiterate. Anyway, just thought you were very nice looking. Message me if you'd like to chat. I understand if I'm not your type, or the right age for you though. All is good either way. :o) 17 Dec 2005, 17:35 Greg: Hi again. I promise not to keep bugging you if I am, but I realized you said you aren't into the bitchy type, and I thought that pic of me as Bette Crawford might lead you to think I am into drag, and might make you imagine me being a certain way. That was just done as a spur of the moment joke with wax lips and a miniature cape on my head. I'm not at all like that, just thought it turned out funny, but have removed the pic in case everyone is getting the wrong idea about me. Not sure if any of that matters to you, but just want to point out I am just a regular guy, not queeny, or bitchy. Still, I understand if it's just me, or my age that's not quite right for you, but I had to point that out. If that changes anything, feel free to chat with me. Won't push it anymore, but you are handsome enough that I had to give it another go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained they say. If still not interested in chatting, that's ok. :o) Wow. Just wow. In regards to the photo this guy is talking about, I showed it to Alicia, whose reaction was: "HOLY MOHTERFUCKING GO WHAT THE HELL IS THAST I THINK I NEED TO GO SHOWER". Just to give you an idea. post comment

Buns! [17 Dec 2005|10:59am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Coldplay - White Shadows ] Ray (my roommate) just message me and asked me to give his cats some water because he'll be home later today but not until 16:00. He said that the didn't have any food either and I offered to give them some but he said that he was totally out. I don't think he's been here since yesterday at least, so those poor cats have been without food! When I opened the door to his room - cuz the cats don't get to leave it - it was really warm in there and smelled gross. I grabbed the water dish, filled it up, and felt distinctively like the grandmother from Flowers In The Attic as I placed it down and quickly shut the door behind me so they wouldn't escape. I'm going to pour wax on their fur next. The other day, Chen was telling me that when he goes to Israel for the holidays he's going to have to eat these Hanukkah things called sufganiyot. I said that it sounded like snuffleupagus and sent him THIS: http://www.healthyweightforkids.org/coloring/snuffleupagus.htm Then I laughed and laughed because I knew that he would have no idea what it was. =) I was in the shower yesterday and, well, washing myself, and all of a sudden I was like: "Is my ass slightly firmer?!" And it was! I was delighted, but only I would notice the difference right now. I guess the ballet is starting to do its thing. 2 comments|post comment

STARS!! [04 Dec 2005|10:24pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Velvet - Rock Down To (Electric Avenue) ] ALSO I NEED TWO TICKETS TO ONE OF STARS' EVENING PERFORMANCES!! I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEM SO SPREAD THE WORD! post comment

The Ups And Downs Of Ryan [04 Dec 2005|10:15pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Max Graham VS Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart ] I didn't feel to well today. I had a headache and napped in the afternoon, but I still managed to make lots of delicious food! Pizza and banada bread and stir fry, oh my! So this crazy guy has left me like two hundred twenty five thousand six hundred messages on a profile site in one day. Here they are: 04 Dec 2005, 14:16 Greg: You look beautiful. Want to live together, forever? I do. Hugs. 04 Dec 2005, 14:25 Greg: Me again. You remind me of Anne Bancroft. I hope you don't mond me being honest. If you act masculine, or are, you can't hide the art that is your face. Breath taking. Have you seen me? Air to spare. Well, that's my opinion, but I do sing better than most. Not bragging. I just do that well. Sinatra like, that kind of singing. Wanna meet? Tell me when I get too forward. Lol. Please, I seriously could love you for the rest of my life. just by your face. Hopefully your personality is just as pretty. Tell me it is. Kisses 04 Dec 2005, 15:35 Greg: I hope you don't mind two messages, but my heart melts when I look at you. 04 Dec 2005, 15:38 Greg: You are the most handsome, sexiest, and real looking person, in the whole group. Kind of like me, without that seximess part you have. Lol. Maybe I am to you. Never know. Must ask you. 04 Dec 2005, 15:41 Greg: I meant to say this, but I am looking for a woman, but in a man. You look like my future wife. Oh, and if you let us meet, I am looking to marry. Seems extreme maybe, but, I've learned there's only one life. Make it yours. 04 Dec 2005, 16:00 Greg: Hugs. Sorry, I look at everyone. Nothing, after seeing you. What can I do? I know I'm older, but I look younger. I may be nothing like you want, I think, but I will always be there next to you, as long as it's a king size bed. lol! Ok, no, seriously. I know something about relationships. I've only had one, and it lasted 17 years. He just up and left. To this day I don't understand it. Anyway. Would be lovely to meet you. My speaking voice is kind of a midrange resonant thingy. Yours? 04 Dec 2005, 20:12 Greg: Guess i was too pushy, or was it the beautiful thing? Handsome? How so you know what is liked? I figured a man can be beautiful (eg. Belelfonte), as much as a woman. Thing is. I'm the most beautiful of all. Ok, I tried. lol Holy god and a half. Why do people fall in love with me?! No, what happens is they idolize me without ever having met. Also, I saw Rent. I cried. It was so so so good and everyone should see it! I am going to go see it again with Bess. 1 comment|post comment

What the hell? [27 Nov 2005|04:18pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Madonna - I Love New York ] ladd4: hey sexy how are u doing darkplay: hey there darkplay: not bad. you? ladd4: i am great ladd4: thanks for gettin back to me ladd4: hope that i am not bothering you at all darkplay: I walk away from the computer sometimes. =p ladd4: ok ladd4: love ur pic ladd4: i am ALlan ladd4: Allan darkplay: thanks. i'm ryan ladd4: nice to meet u Ryan ladd4: so what bring you on line today darkplay: u2. so what are you doing? i'm just wasting some time ladd4: well just here chillin hoping to meet a nice guy that is lookin for something more than sex darkplay: that's aiming pretty high. i usually just have the goal of not being messaged by people with the iq of a tire ladd4: ic darkplay: =P ladd4: well i dont think i am aiming too hight darkplay: no, i was joking... ladd4: ok darkplay: hence the tire thing! ladd4: u have a bf darkplay: no ladd4: how come a sweet guy like u dont darkplay: not so sweet i guess =P who knows what the cosmos have in store for me ladd4: well i hope its something great darkplay: you and me both! ladd4: i am so tried of the games that guys play darkplay: i dont' think i've had the misfortune of playing those games too much ladd4: well than u should be thankfull for that darkplay: i suppose ladd4: i think for me when i meet a guy i guess ask do you want to have sex ladd4: i am not lookin for that darkplay: ya i guess a lot of guys on here are ladd4: can i ask you some thing Ryan darkplay: sure ladd4: what kind of guys are u into darkplay: oh god, there's no formula really. it's different from case to case. darkplay: i just feel it usually ladd4: ok ladd4: are u into blk guys ladd4: ok ladd4: so is that a yes ladd4: or no darkplay: I'm not "into" black or white or whatever specifically. that would imply some kinda fetish I think. darkplay: I like different coloured guys ladd4: nice good darkplay: I think it's important not to cut off people based on that. ladd4: well Ryan the reason i ask is because u seem like a nice guy and i would like maybe have lunch with you sometime darkplay: hmm, i don't think that'll work allan ladd4: that cool ladd4: may i ask why that is darkplay: thank you for the invite tho. well because i just don't feel interested in doing that with you i guess darkplay: i don't know why. just how i feel ladd4: that cool ladd4: no prob darkplay: thanks tho like i sad ladd4: cool I'm glad dumb people are easily recognizable. post comment

Hot Boy [27 Nov 2005|03:10pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Madonna - I Love New York ] OK so I admit that I'm enjoying this new Madonna CD a LITTLE. Obviously it's nothing special, but the songs are catchy. I made sweet and sour stir-fry today from scratch. No bottles of sauce for this Ryan. I imagine Lori will be impressed when I take the leftovers to work tomorrow. I also bought Basmati rice because I felt like treating myself. Last night I had a fantastic time. Chen and I decided to go for dessert and then dancing if we felt up for it. We ended up at Crews & Tango, and I had the best time there since I can't remember when. The energy was so high, the performers were great, and it was so packed. I don't know why everything was so spectacular, but we danced until the closed the place down. I grabbed a boy with a labret piercing for the last dance and we grinded like there was no tomorrow. I gave him my number after the music over and told him to do with it what he would. Of course I am assuming that he is stupid, but Chen got mad at me for doing that. I realized in the shower that I'll never be happy because even when I do something that's hard for me like talk to a boy, I just find a way to ruin it for myself! Like, well I only talked to him because he was looking at me and I don't really like him I just wanted to press my body against his or something. Whatever, I guess I hope he calls me. His name is Brent. =S If anyone is wondering, epilators hurt like a motherfuckingsonofabitch. Love! Post Script 1 comment|post comment

Some things don't come prewrapped. [27 Nov 2005|03:45am] [ mood | pessimistic ] [ music | Madonna - Sorry ] So I've realized that I don't know how to operate a cauliflower. I bought one for the first time the other day, and when I got home I realized that it didn't come with instructions or suggestions for optimal florette extraction. So I just chopped it in two and ripped it apart. Martha would not approve. 4 comments|post comment

Not Bad [12 Jul 2005|10:19pm] [ mood | hot ] I am such a fucking FREAK. I get so crazy when people always fall in love with me because it's hard to deal with, but then I'm disappointed when some people DON'T fall in love with me! Maybe it's just that I only want some people fall in love with me and it's just never those who do. It is both a gift, and a curse I suppose. I don't feel like there is anything overly interesting to write about in my life right now. That sounds sadder than I'm feeling it is. Just don't have any stories. I'm kinda thirsty... I dunno. 1 comment|post comment

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